I’ve never been stuck on a space station with hordes of bloodthirsty mutated humanoids, battling severe psychotic flashbacks, armed only with some futuristic mining tools and my wits.  But if I was, this is exactly how I imagine it would be.

It’s hard to classify Dead space 2 as a game: it’s an experience, and one that’s hard to forget.  From beginning to end, there are moments in DS2 that blur the line between video game experiences and real life memories.  The amount of depth in each level is astonishing and the attention to detail creates a truly terrifying environment.  DS2 is unpredictable, to say the least.  The un-surety of what was lurking around any corner, combined with stellar sound design, had me jumping out of my seat at every turn.

This game is gross…(man, is it gross).  Once you get past the squelching corpses, vomiting undead, exploding babies, and twisted packs of rabid children, you’re in for a horrific journey that even pushes the boundaries of morality.  Not to worry though, once the initial shock wears off your guilty conscience is sucked out into the vacuum of space along with the dismembered corpses of your enemies.

We live in a new world, so to speak, with regard to children’s entertainment (we call it children’s entertainment, though we all know adults love the good stuff just as much as kids do). Growing up, I remember humming or even singing aloud songs from The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, or even Cinderella. Music was more than just a catchy tune to get your feet tapping (see “You Got a Friend in Me” from Toy Story), it was an integral part of the storytelling process. While I don’t have anything against Randy Newman, I think the animated musical picture has lost its way.

Until now…

Enter Disney’s Tangled, the story of Rapunzel and her escape from the clutches of her so-called “mother.” While the story differs a bit from the age-old children’s tale, it’s no less interesting. Sprinkled with musical numbers throughout, Tangled attempts a return to Disney’s “bread and butter,” and succeeds. Yes, in a post-Pixar world the singing seems cheesy. But if you can let yourself go back to the “old” days, you’ll find yourself grinning.

Cute characters, above-par voice acting and a fantastically vibrant environment make Tangled an easy choice for the whole family.

While the title might imply a poignant answer to, what some would call, the question of all questions, “How Do You Know” more simply points out the obvious answer most of us see when we’re outside of the situation.

In this case we’ve got Lisa (Reese Witherspoon), the softball-wielding tomboy, who can’t seem to decide between the unabashedly “male” MLB pitcher Matty (Owen Wilson) and the “my life’s in crisis” businessman George (Paul Rudd). Both are charming in their own respect, but only one can be Mr. Right for dear Lisa. Oh how will she choose?

Sweet in its simplicity, HDYK will put a smile on your face if your a fan of any of the stars it showcases (also including Jack Nicholson and Kathryn Hahn).

Under normal circumstances, I’m not a fan of Angelina Jolie. In fact, I don’t see what her fans are so enamored with. But in The Tourist, all previous bets are off. Jolie is positively stunning. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t remember her opening her mouth but a few times throughout the film, or perhaps it was her amazing wardrobe and perfect posture throughout. Whatever the case, she was a great cast for the part of Elise.

Right by Jolie’s side throughout most of the film, the talented Johnny Depp quietly exudes a sort of sheepish confidence as Frank Tupelo, Math teacher from Wisconsin, whom Elise is using to find her real lover, a man on the run from Interpol and the mobster from whom he stole hundreds of millions in Euros (was that a run-on sentence?).

Exciting, funny, sexy and sweet, The Tourist artfully and dramatically showcases the talents of all involved, and all without the over-the-top action we’re so used to seeing from Hollywood these days.

Subtlety is a beautiful thing…

How thin is the veil that separates us from the “other side?”  Are the loved ones we’ve “lost” watching us…better yet, watching over us?  What if you could communicate with them?  What would you say?  What would you ask?

Clint Eastwood (Director) and Peter Morgan (Screenwriter) tackle these and other interesting questions in Hereafter, starring Matt Damon.  The story centers around Damon’s George Lonegan, who has the ability to connect with those on the other side.  Though he once embraced this “gift” as a means to earn a living, he now considers it a curse.  Throughout the film, Lonegan crosses paths with several others who wrestle with their own issues regarding death, resulting in some poignant self-discovery for all involved.

Hereafter carries the intangible quietness of recent Eastwood films, coupled with the relatively heavy subject matter.  I wasn’t amazed by the picture, but I found it posed some very interesting questions.  The glaring negative for me was the score, also brought to you by “Dirty Harry” himself.  It seemed rambling, irrelevant and just plain distracting.  Otherwise, I enjoyed myself enough to award…

The great comic Lewis Black once said, “When you’re lying in bed, you hear thunder outside, and you get up to look, you have an expectation. And it’s not snow with lightning behind it. That’s not right!”

So what does the weather have to do with “The Other Guys?” Nothing. But when you throw Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg and Michael Keaton into a comic pot and stir, you have an expectation. And it’s not a mediocre film laced with not but a few chuckles. That’s not right!

Worth a viewing, The Other Guys gives you enough room to giggle here and there. Though the cast has made my sides hurt in other comic ventures (Anchorman, I Heart Huckabees and Multiplicity, respectively), they don’t quite gel together as well as I’d hoped. It was a refreshing reminder, though, to see Keaton in action. I think people forget how funny he really is. There’s a DVD extra of him acting out one particular scene over and over, showcasing his wit for the world.  Pretty funny.

SO if you plan to hang out with these guys, temper those expectations.  As I’m only dishing out…

Imagine you’re alone.  Imagine you’re somewhere in the Italian countryside, building a custom weapon for some hitman.  Imagine that you’re sad and bored, quietly falling for a prostitute.  Imagine, too, that someone is trying to kill you.  Sounds like a day in the life of Jason Bourne, which has thus far been entertainingly represented by Hollywood.  But with The American, starring George Clooney, we as an audience aren’t so lucky.

*Yawn*

This one drags on for far too long, and far too quietly to keep me engaged.  Granted, the story has some artistic value (there’s subtext, tension and some underlying social commentary), but it’s a little too melancholy for my taste.  I recommend you skip this one unless you’re writing a book report on Martin Booth’s “A Very Private Gentleman“, the novel on which the film is based.

I recently went to the doc’s office and got my first check up in years.  The net-net of the conversation was this: I eat poorly.  My diet consists of meat, carbs and energy drinks.  When asked if I eat any dairy, “Nope.”  When asked about veggies, “Not really.”  Does that matter to you?  Nope, not really…unless you “consume” film like I do.  Your diet should consist of some good whole grains, some vegetables, some dairy, some protein…blah, blah, blah.  And it should also include some bubble gum from time to time; some candy bars here and there.  Maybe I should get to the point of the metaphor…

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is the delightful candy of my film diet!

I remember when I first saw the trailer for SPVTW, and my first thought was “this is going to be this year’s Avatar.”  Think me crazy, but I was right.  No, this film won’t be up for any Oscars.  No, none of these actors will win a Golden Globe.  But as was the case with Avatar, this film reminded me why I “go” to the movies.  With home theaters being what they are today, the only reason I can think of to spend so much money at a theater is for giddy, geeked-out experiences like watching the scrawny Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) fight his way through 7 “evil exes” en route to winning the heart of one Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), all in the style of 90′s twitch fighting games like Street Fighter II.

Great dialogue, amazing vision, perfect casting, and special effects taken right from every imaginative teenager’s brain, Scott Pilgrim scores big in this triumph.

Don’t watch this movie.  It’s REALLY bad.  I mean, if you like watching stupid movies because they are fun to laugh at…maybe.  But really, I have nothing else to say except…

Let’s make this simple, shall we?  If you like adaptations of John Grisham novels, you won’t be disappointed here.  Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington play perfectly in this taut whodunnit thriller.  If you have never seen an adaptation of a John Grisham novel, you’ll still probably like this.  IMHO, it’s worth…